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Raising kids can be tough but rewarding. Developing young stylists for tomorrow, likewise. Having spent 48 years training apprentices and 30 years with my own children, I’ve seen the evolving nature of integrity as people mature and are faced with different life challenges. How this develops can have a major impact on the quality of career and life.
Most people when asked, would claim to be honest. Current ideology is blurring the lines between traditional right and wrong, leading younger generations to have broader interpretations of honesty and the deeper integrity. But what’s the difference?
I see honesty as telling the truth and integrity as living the truth (we'll leave out the modern concept of 'my truth' in this piece). An honest person is straightforward and doesn’t lie cheat or mislead. Integrity is deeper. It’s about acting in line with your values, even when no-one is watching. It’s about doing the right thing not just saying it, even when it’s inconvenient or unpopular. Integrity includes honesty but also consistency, accountability, and moral courage. So, someone can be honest in a moment but still lack integrity overall — and vice versa.
Integrity often develops across a lifetime — though people can enter or skip stages depending on upbringing, culture, and personal choices:
1. Childhood is about learning the rules, usually through external guidance where parents, teachers, or authority figures instruct them. The motivation is to avoid punishment or gain approval, but integrity is fragile — honesty might vanish if lying seems to solve the problem.
2. Adolescence has the testing of boundaries and moral experimentation. Rules start being questioned: “Is this fair? Do I agree?” Peer influence is strong — integrity might be compromised to fit in. Early signs of personal values begin to form, though inconsistently applied.
3. Early Adulthood is the start of defining personal values. They begin to face bigger life choices (career, relationships, money). Integrity develops when people act in line with their own values, not just imposed rules. Temptations (shortcuts, dishonest gains) test commitment to principles and this is when the first big “integrity tests” often happen. The choices and results can shape reputation for years.
4. Midlife has laid down more solid values. People understand that credibility and trust take years to build, seconds to lose. Consistency and accountability from experience show that integrity pays in the long run — not just morally, but in relationships and career. Many become role models, consciously or not, teaching integrity to others.
5. Later Life – Integrity is less about personal gain more about principles and legacy - leaving things right. Choices often focus on fairness, mentoring, and living in line with deeply held beliefs. Some feel freer to act with absolute honesty because they’re less concerned with others’ approval. Reputation becomes a form of legacy.
Age provides the canvas, but choices paint the picture. Integrity tends to deepen when people have reflected on mistakes, resisted temptations, and acted with consistency over time. Integrity gets quieter but stronger in later life.
Michael Van Clarke
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